I’m sure it will shock everyone to learn that the 5STAR Grand Prix hasn’t been at the top of my watchlist. However, I haven’t completely avoided it. After hearing word of some promising Saki Kashima antics, I decided to dip my toe into her match with Suzu Suzuki. As far as I can gather, the best Saki has decided that while she’s not overly bothered about winning the tournament, it is the perfect place to make some money off a sponsorship deal. That meant that when she’d done her due diligence and waved the sponsor’s board around, earning her cheque, she was content to head to the back. Unfortunately for her, that Suzu is an eager type. Rather than accepting the countout victory, she gave chase, strong-arming poor Kashima into participating in the action. It was a premise that had a lot of potential, but they didn’t fully commit to the bit. When Saki was forced back to the ring, things reverted to a decent but straightforward match. On the upside, it was short, so I didn’t waste too much time, and, more importantly, it reminded me of this gem from FMWE.
Once again, this was Suzu against someone who didn’t want to be there. The difference is that it’s not Madeline’s laziness which has caused the issue. It’s that she’s somehow found herself in a tournament with a deathmatch freak who has access to an exploding barbed-wire baseball bat. To put it simply, she was shitting herself. Suzu, on the other hand, was in heaven. At the first opportunity, she heads to the corner to hit the big buzzer and start the process of making things go boom. Madeline, some would argue sensibly, decides that she wants nothing to do with that and flees the ring, raising her hands above her head in an X as she makes it very clear that she’s not coming back until Suzu turns it off.
The match that follows is hardly unique, as we’ve seen Kaori Yoneyama doing a similar shtick in Oz Academy’s versions of these matches, but it is an utter delight. Mainly because Suzu and Madeline are so perfectly cast. Every time Suzuki gets her hands on a weapon, she lights up, even if it’s just something as simple as getting to torment Maddy with the ring bell. Equally important, though, is her ability to sell her bafflement at the situation. It’s the skills that made her and Yuuki Mashiro such a perfect pairing, and Madeline fills a similar oddball role to Mashiro here. Not only does she spend part of the match on the run, refusing to engage with Suzu, but she also whips out her wand, trying to match explosions and spikes with, well, magic. My problem with the Kashima match is that it didn’t feel like they fully committed to the bit, but this is the opposite. For the ten minutes or so that Madeline and Suzuki are playing around in that ring, they are both wedded to the roles they play.
And it nearly pays off for Madeline (although that might not have been a good thing, what with a victory ensuring she progressed in the deathmatch tournament). When Suzuki finally gets another chance to blow shit up, Maddy uses the distraction to kick off a frantic final few seconds in which both come close to sneaking out with the flash pin, the soundtrack of the wailing buzzer that signals the bat is active only ramping up the excitement. In the end, though, she can’t quite get it done. Suzu gets the three and sits up with a look of bemusement on her face as she realises that the match is over before she’s had any fun. In a way, that counts as a victory for Maddy, who wrestled a deathmatch without even dirtying her boiler suit. Sure, it’s very much a symbolic one, but you’ve got to assume she was happy to take it over the alternative.
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