I need to deliver a slight disclaimer before we get started. My first watch of this match was on the train home from a Napalm Death gig where I’d drunk around five pints. Understandably, I was in a rare jolly mood, which may have influenced my feelings towards it. However, I have since rewatched it, and I largely stand by my original thoughts, so fuck it. If my opinions on wrestling can’t be influenced by one of the greatest bands of all time, what can they be influenced by? And surely the ideal way to watch Baka Gaijin is while slightly intoxicated? I was merely getting in the mood.
Either way, I thought this was a delight. It’s one of those lovely moments where everything clicks into place, from the pre-match shenanigans (Brookes tried to put the KO-D title on the line only to be stopped by a drunken Referee Matsui, who compromised by unveiling the new BK-G title) to Chris dangling Ram quite far out of a fourth-floor window without dropping her. Plus, he’s really tall, and she’s really short, and I know it’s simplistic, but I fucking love that simplicity. Something as basic as the opening lockup was provided with a whole new dimension when she had to stretch up to get her hand anywhere near Brookes’ shoulder. They didn’t have to work to make it feel like the odds were stacked against Ram. You only have to look at them to see that.
Not that Brookes had any issues heeling it up. I’ve said it before, but for a guy who is inherently quite cool, he has no problem being a total prick. Threatening to throw Ram out a window was just the start of it. This was very much the Brookes we’ve seen in Ichigaya, the one who could win by playing it straight but doesn’t want to. He’ll be a bastard for the sake of being a bastard, which a few heels could learn from. He even dragged Masa away from drinking in the corner to team up on Ram, although that set off a comedy of errors that almost cost him the match. Plus, when it comes time for him to get a bit of comeuppance, he eats it well, taking a brilliantly ridiculous chokeslam from Kaichow.
It meant that if you stripped away the setting and put this in a ring, it would be classed as some classic pro wrestling. We had a big heel bullying a small face. However, that would also remove so much of what makes it special. People often view venues like Ichigaya and Shimokitazawa as impediments, but Brookes knows better. They’re not worse than a ring, they’re merely different, which means the best wrestlers adapt to the setting. Yes, this would have worked in Shinkiba, but would it have been as good? Perhaps not. Having the fans on top of them, limiting what they can do (unless they want to wipe out a couple of rows), forces the match to be small and contained. At a time when so much wrestling feels self-indulgent, that’s no bad thing. Plus, Brookes being able to escape any submission by virtue of his height benefited his heel work as much as Ram leaping from a bar to hit a crossbody added to her role as the scrappy underdog.
I mentioned in my recent matches of the month that I’ve been drawn to simple stories recently, and this was a perfect example of why. It’s a slice of goodness that hits on some of wrestling’s oldest tropes, and you know what? That shit works. Whether they’re doing it now, fifty years ago, or fifty years in the future – it’s timeless. Ram and Brookes took an old story, put it in a different place, and produced one of my favourite matches of the year so far. Napalm Death might have helped, but they did all the real work.
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