Bakuha Koshien Produce STREET FIGHT CLUB (25/8/20) Review

I’m sure a lot of white powder has been stored in guitars over the years. Credit: DDT

Bakuha Koshien is the Explosion Deathmatch side-project of Atsushi Onita and Sanshiro Takagi. It’s not actually a DDT show, but DDT is helping them out, hence the presence of a fair few of their wrestlers on the undercard. While I believe the original vision was for Onita to take Explosion Deathmatches around the world, COVID has made that difficult, so we’re getting a Bunkhouse Scramble in Korakuen instead. You’ll accept it, and you’ll enjoy it!

Shunma Katsumata defeated Mecha Pandita

Definitely a robot. Credit: DDT

Here’s a shocking revelation for you all, Shunma vs a panda mech that Onita found on a coffee farm in Laos was not an entirely serious affair. Who saw that one coming?

Onita was supposedly controlling his new pal from backstage, but he needs to watch some more Robot Wars tapes because he let Mecha Pandita down. It spent as much time attacking thin air as it did Shunma and was nearly counted out when it got stuck on the outside. Although, when it did get its hands on Shunma, it proved to be surprisingly athletic, hitting Moonsaults and all sorts.

It also had the advantage of being somewhat impervious to attacks, forcing Shunma to improvise in his quest to get the victory. Lucky for him, a dosing of what I can only assume was anti-robot spray did the job, frazzling Pandita’s circuits and setting Shunma up to get the three.

Look, you already know if the idea of Shunma fighting a panda mech is for you or not, what I say is irrelevant. For what it’s worth, I thought it was fun.

Verdict: Nonsense

Yuna Manase and Yumehito Imanari defeated The Holy Family (Miyako Matsumoto and Chris Brookes)

She tried. Credit: DDT

If Miyacoco is part of your match, she’s probably going to take centre stage. That’s even more true when I’m watching, as she is most definitely my favourite psychopath, joshi, idol, serial killer.

Here, we once again got to enjoy the love/hate relationship between her and Chris Brookes. She has recently dubbed the Gakenofuchi roster the Holy Family, declaring herself the Virgin Mary and the rest babies (don’t think about it too much). However, there have been a few hints that Chris had no wish to be included in this family, namely the bits where he keeps saying that he doesn’t want to be in this family.

And I wouldn’t want to throw too many accusations Chris’s way, but there were a few moments in this match where their attempts to work together when horribly wrong for Miyacoco. Central to which was their newly named Holy Diver, a move where he Crucify Bombed a somewhat unwilling Miyako onto Yuna who was lying on top of a plastic crate. At least that was the theory. The reality was Yuna moving and poor Matsumoto taking a hell of a bump.

I should talk about their opponents who, in their role representing Pocchari Joshi, were a perfect match. Imanari and Miyacoco yelling across the ring at each other had me laughing before the bell had rung. It’s also fun to see Yuna taking advantage of her move away from Tokyo Joshi to do some bonkers stuff. With Imanari declaring after the match that Pocchari and Gakenofuchi should work together to spread crazy joshi to the world, I’m hopeful that it won’t be the last time we see it either.

Verdict: Brilliant

STRONGHEARTS (T-Hawk and El Lindaman) defeated Seigo Tachibana and Jiro Kuroshio

Oh no. Credit: DDT

They built this around an electric hair shaver that Seigo had stolen from El Lindaman and brought to the ring (he apparently took a shit in Linda’s bag at the same time). Every spot had someone wielding it and the others desperately trying to avoid losing some of their precious hair. Even Referee Matsui had to pull out a Clothesline to protect himself from its blades.

And, hair match or not, if you build a match around someone being shaved, you’d better deliver. Poor Seigo had only just grown some of his back and yet as he lifted Linda for a suplex, away it went, leaving him with the distinct impression that something was wrong. When he realised, the horror was so strong that he left himself open to a German, Lindaman adding insult to injury.

This was perfect silliness. T-Hawk and Jiro had easy afternoons as they mainly sat back and left the two goofballs to it, a decision I had zero complaints about.

Verdict: Unleash The Silly

Jun Akiyama defeated Yukio Naya

Time for an education. Credit: DDT

Naya is a big boy, but Akiyama was out there to take him to school. In the only straightforward wrestling match on this show, he just beat the shit out of poor Yukio, kicking him around the arena with an emotionless scowl on his face.

It meant that while I don’t think this quite qualifies as a squash, we were left in no doubt as to who the dominant wrestler was. Even the other members of Junretsu, watching on at ringside, seemed a bit concerned for Naya, cheering him on at moments.

Naya did show some defiance, refusing to go down easily, but he never stood a chance. While he kicked out repeatedly at the end, Jun eventually launched him over with a Suplex for the three, setting down a statement as he builds up to going one on one with Takeshita.

This might be my favourite DDT match from old Jun so far. He was presented as an old badass, which is what he is. More of that, please.

Verdict: Badass Jun

Atsushi Onita, Yuko Miyamoto and Rocky Kawamura defeated Sugiura-gun (Takashi Sugiura, Kaz Hayashi and NOSAWA Rongai) in a Scramble Bunkhouse Death Street Fight

A good time was had by all. Credit: DDT

This was six grizzled men (well, five grizzled men and Rocky Kawamura in his boxing outfit) wandering around and hitting each other with stuff. It was a slow, hardcore brawl and while all that sounds a bit like I’m insulting it, I don’t mean it that way.

Because it’s 2020 and Onita is 63-years-old. If you’re going into his matches expecting more than this, you are building yourself up for a fall. The guy still knows how to put on a show, letting his opponents beat the shit of him, all in aid of building to that big comeback. He’s a master at making sure he’s the star, and that everyone knows it.

And much like how you should know what to expect from Mecha Pandita vs Shunma, you should have seen this match coming. There were a couple of moments where things sped up a notch, mainly the moments where Onita left the ring, but otherwise, it was his show as he was either being hit or doing the hitting. Kasai vs Tanaka it was not, but when taken on its own level, I had an alright time.

Verdict: It Was Fine

Afterwards, Onita said that next time it would be an Electrocution Explosion Deathmatch, something Sugiura-gun didn’t look entirely sure about, but who knows.

Overall Show

That was a decent enough show. The highlight was Miyacoco and Brookes vs Yuna and Imanari, but nothing sucked. It’s also pretty short, coming in at under two hours, so if you’re looking for something to pass the time you could certainly do worse.

Watch DDT: https://www.ddtpro.com/universe

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