WWE in Saudi Arabia, if that isn’t the fuse to a potential shitastrophe, I don’t know what is. If you’re interested in my opinion on the political side of this, I’m going to get into it at the end. It means those of you who don’t give a crap what I think can read the review and then x out before we get serious. Fair? Right, let’s see what went down at The Greatest Royal Rumble.
I spend a lot of time moaning about WWE. However, when that sign goes up and we all start pointing at it, I get excited. Part of that is down to the many great shows going on around the big one, but let’s not pretend I don’t love WrestleMania. Even as it trickles into its seventh hour and pisses me off for the sixth time, there are few things I’d rather be doing. It’s ‘Mania! Let’s have fun.
The Royal Rumble used to my favourite WWE event. However, recent years have seen it drop down my rankings. A few listless efforts have led to worries that they’ve lost their magic. As you settle into this show, you better hope not because we’re getting two of the buggers. Let’s dish out some stars.
The Brand Split version of Survivor Series is a weird beast. It causes people who spend the rest of the year hating each other’s guts to team up because they suddenly care about the name of their TV show. On top of that, it’s WWE openly telling you that one brand is better than the other. Does that mean we should now all give up on SmackDown? Or maybe, I should stop overthinking this stuff. Let’s dish out some stars.
No Mercy has, for the longest time, been a nothing PPV. One that is purely there to fill a gap. Then, this year, WWE got a bit excited, and we suddenly had a card headed up by two potential WrestleMania main events. It was a strange move, and the fact that the show wasn’t sold out a few days beforehand spoke volumes as to how successful it was (WWE reported it as a sellout on the day, but who knows if that was true). No Mercy felt like it had been given the chance to shine, and it was floundering. All of that would, however, be forgiven if it delivered in the ring. Let’s dish out those stars.
No Mercy 2017 is shaping up to be one hell of a night. You’ve got the new vs the old as Roman Reigns clashes with John Cena and a war of monsters when Braun Strowman does battle with Brock Lesnar. Underneath that, you’ve got a fatal four-way for the Women’s Title with three of the bigger stars of the division and a tag match between two of WWE’s better sides. It’s a guaranteed night of good wrestling, so why does it feel like WWE still don’t know what they are doing?
My God, that was long. I watched three wrestling shows over the weekend (TakeOver and ROH’s show in Edinburgh being the other two), and I could have watched both of those again in the time that it took me to watch all of Summerslam and its pre-show. But, I survived and have come out the other end a wiser and more cynical man. Let’s hand out some stars.
Great Balls of Fire, a show name so ridiculous that we’re still waiting for the punchline. Yet, despite that (and posters that look suspiciously like a penis) this may be the best build to a WWE show since the brand split. Samoa Joe has suddenly found his feet on the main roster, and there are hints of interesting programs throughout the entire card. It’s just possible, this could be a good show. So here are ten observations from Great Balls Of Fire.
Much like Christmas, WrestleMania weekend seems to get longer every year. We’ve already had Evolve 80 and Hornswoggle taking Grado to Suplex City, and we’re only just getting started. The big show is still a couple of nights away, but despite that, predictions must be predicted, and this is what I think will go down at WrestleMania.
It’s mid-February and WrestleMania season is well and truly swinging. We already have one confirmed match and the next few weeks should see the card begin to be fleshed out. So, I’m going to have some fun. Before WWE ruins everything by booking a load of crap here is the show that I would have broadcast around the world on April 2nd.