The Royal Rumble is most wrestling fans favourite PPV of the year. Screw ‘Mania, although we tend to love that too, the Rumble is where it is at. While we have had disappointing Rumbles over the years, it is fair to say it very rarely fails to deliver at least couple of fun moments and it also sets us on the ‘Road to Wrestlemania’. We get to know who will be competing for the big one on the ‘Grandest Stage of Them All’. I can’t think of anymore WWE buzzwords to throw in now, so lets just get onto some of my predictions.
The New Day vs Tyson Kidd, Cesaro and Adam Rose
This match is full of people I really like. Cesaro and Kidd are two of my favourite wrestlers in the company, at least when they are allowed to do their thing in NXT, while Rose, Kingston, Woods and Langston are all decent to good talents. Yet I could not give a flying fuck about this match. I’m going to assume The New Day win since they are an actual threesome, but really, who gives a shit?
The New Age Outlaws vs The Ascension
The Ascension were consistently one of the worst acts in NXT, yet are the ones currently getting a chance on the main roster. They are just not that good. It’s a sad fact, but it’s true. They’re not the team to ignite the WWE tag team division. I assume they go over the Outlaws here, but again I really struggle to care. It’s always fun to see the New Age Outlaws, but they do quickly begin to wear on me. It’s a sad reflection of the WWE undercard, how little I care about all this.
Paige and Natalya vs The Bella Twins
I have to sadly admit I have started to watch Total Divas recently, mainly because of Paige’s addition to the show. It’s an addition that makes me despair at the way she is portrayed on television. You have a genuinely bright, fun-loving women who could get over huge with the crowd in the right scenario. Instead her on TV persona is a bit of a mess. For someone not watching Total Divas, why are Paige and Natalya friends, do we care? No, we don’t. The divas need a mix up (frankly it should start with ditching the word diva) and this match ain’t gonna be the start of it. I have no idea who wins, I’ll go for the Bellas though, since they are the only female wrestlers the WWE seems to care about.
The Usos (c) vs Miz and Mizdow
The time is coming for Mizdow to snap and turn on Miz. This match is a good time to plant the seeds for that. It could be a genuinely well-built Wrestlemania undercard match. Rather than doing the obvious and having Mizdow muck it up, I’d have Miz do so. Have him take the pin after refusing to tag his stunt double and have Mizdow show frustration, but still walk out with his employer. It plants the seeds for him going out on his own and going babyface. By the way, have the WWE ever not ran a Uso feud into the ground? It seems a recurring theme. I am going for them to retain here though.
Brock Lesnar vs John Cena vs Seth Rollins
I don’t have a bloody clue who is going to win this match. If Lesnar’s contract situation was cut and dry it would seem a lock in that he would walk out with the title. With it seeming he will definitely leave, I really don’t know. However, I do have a feeling. I think Lesnar will retain, but for some reason it will come down to an epic battle between him and Cena. Rollins will be out of it, either intentionally or because of a big spot earlier in the match and as the bell goes he will reenter and hit a curb stomp on Lesnar. From that, he cashes in Money in the Bank and walks out champion. It’s a situation that gets the title off Lesnar without damaging him too much and also puts Rollins over as intelligent. It also allows Cena to continue hunting Lesnar, getting that monkey off his back and sets up Rollins as the weasley but smart heel champion. Will this happen? God knows. However, this is without a doubt one of the most interesting main events WWE has put together in quite a while.
The winner of the Rumble match will come down to one of two people. Reigns or Bryan. Bryan should win. It sets him up for another huge ‘Mania, in my situation against Seth Rollins, two men who could put on a classic regardless of the outcome. It also completes his return from injury. It finishes the story started around a year ago, the one of Bryan overcoming all the odds and it will go over with the fans huge. However, there is a big elephant in the room. The WWE wants Reigns to be their guy. Anyone paying attention can see that. Last year, they wanted Batista to be the guy and he won the Rumble before being shit on by a very pro Bryan crowd. Will WWE risk that happening again? Something tells me they wont, but lets not put it past them.