WWE TLC Review

I was dreading TLC. The combination of a pumpkin vs Norman Bates, a powerpoint presentation and a stupid main event didn’t do much for me. Then illness hit WWE (get better soon everyone), and it got interesting. Suddenly, two former leaders of The Bullet Club were going head to head. There was still a lot wrong with this card, but at least I now wanted to watch it. Let’s dish out some stars.

Drew Gulak’s Powerpoint Presentation

If you promise a Powerpoint presentation then you should deliver a damn Powerpoint presentation!

Verdict: NA

Sasha Banks defeated Alicia Fox

Alicia Fox is back to being crazy which is the second of WWE’s three gimmicks for women.

There is no reason for you to watch this.

Verdict: One And A Half Stars

Asuka defeated Emma

This match should have lasted less than a minute. Asuka should have kicked Emma in the head and tapped her out. Unfortunately, WWE seems scared to make debuting stars look too dominant. They did it with Nakamura, and now they’ve done it with Asuka. NXT and Braun Strowman have shown how effective squash matches can be, use them.

All of that doesn’t mean this wasn’t a good match. It was serviceable, and Emma will have reminded a few people that she can go. It just shouldn’t have happened here.

Verdict: Two And A Half Stars

Jason Jordan interrupted an Elias concert to throw vegetables at him. Elias is a heat magnet, and Jason Jordan needs something to make people care about him, so I’m cool with that being a feud.

Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann defeated Brian Kendrick and Jack Gallagher

Four talented wrestlers having a fun match and yet I don’t care. Why don’t I care? Because 205 Live is garbage and it’s impossible to care about anything that happens on that show. They’ve got Gallagher wrestling in dress shoes for God’s sake. What a waste of time.

Verdict: Three Star Match One Star Presentation

Alexa Bliss defeated Mickie James to retain the Raw Woman’s Title

You want proof WWE doesn’t care about the women’s division? They built this feud around 38-year-old Mickie James being old while they wet themselves in excitement at 48-year-old Kurt Angle returning to the ring.

A good story (and the one they would have told between two men) would have been the rookie looking to prove herself against the veteran, and that’s how this match was built. Mickie went out there and used her experience to school Alexa Bliss. However, Bliss was nastier. She isn’t as good as Mickie, but she’s willing to do things that she won’t, and that makes all the difference.

This was a better match than the feud deserved. It lost its way a bit towards the end (which prompted the crowd to chant for an inanimate object), but they did a decent job.

Verdict: Two And A Half Stars

Elias concert 2.0 was the same as the first one, and the same comments apply. The heat he gets is extraordinary.

Enzo Amore defeated Kalisto to win the Cruiserweight Title

What is it with WWE taking the belt off people only to give it back to them straight away? What’s the point? It’s not a one-off thing, they are doing it all the time, and it rarely makes sense from a storyline perspective.

This match was bad. I have no interest in watching Enzo, but others do so there you go. Can I stop writing about it now?

Verdict: Two Stars

Finn Balor defeated AJ Styles

Now this, this I want to watch.

Balor vs AJ was an excellent match. However, it didn’t feel like the best match that these two could have; they held something back, and I liked that. At the moment this was wrestling for the sake of wrestling, but that doesn’t mean that will always be the case. There is still the chance that Styles and Balor will go head to head again somewhere down the road and when that happens, it will be more personal and they can ramp everything up to the next level.

The crowd was into this, I was into this, and we got to see two of the best in-ring workers in the world go at it. I recommend you sit back and enjoy this match for what it is.

Verdict: Three And A Half Stars

Jason Jordan defeated Elias

If the commentary team don’t care, why should I? They should have kept it for Raw.

Verdict: One And A Half Stars

The SHIELD (Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose) and Kurt Angle defeated The Bar (Cesaro and Sheamus) The Miz, Braun Strowman and Kane in a TLC Match

What a garbage match. It was a clusterfuck of WWE tropes. We had the stretcher job (and heroic return), the heels self-combusting and the babyfaces heroically overcoming the odds. I can’t pretend it wasn’t entertaining at times, yet that is very different from good.

It was also long. So long. WWE doesn’t seem capable of keeping these gimmick matches to a decent length. You could have cut half of this out and it would have been a leaner and better story because of it.

I also don’t get who this aided. Was it all done to set up Kane vs Strowman? The Bar and The Miz look bad for not being able to win despite their numbers advantage while The SHIELD’s reunion was wasted on something that meant nothing. Don’t get me started on Kurt Angle’s return where he didn’t even get his own entrance until two-thirds of the way into the match.

I can’t even be bothered talking about the ridiculousness of the latest attempt to murder Braun Strowman. This match was WWE in 2017 in a nutshell and in being so, it was living proof of why that is something I struggle to care about.

Verdict: One Star? Two Stars? I don’t even know. It wasn’t good.

Overall Show

I liked a few of these matches. I thought both of the main card women’s effort were decent (although I disliked the way Asuka was booked) and that AJ vs Balor was great. I even enjoyed the Cruiserweight tag despite all my issues with that division. However, I can’t recommend this PPV. There was too much garbage surrounding the good stuff to make it worth your time. WWE continues to frustrate.