Somehow, March is over and done with, making it time for another roundup of my favourite matches from the past thirty-one days. We’re entering the busy portion of my working year, so I haven’t seen everything I would have liked, and a show like Grand Princess happened a touch too late for it to make the list (although, keep an eye on the site for a full review), but there is still plenty to get your teeth into. Enjoy!
Eddie Kingston vs Bryan Danielson, Revolution (3/3/24), AEW
Two of the greats deliver some pro-wrestling ass pro-wrestling. Eddie and Dragon understand better than most that this shit doesn’t have to be complicated. The story here was a classic: Eddie wanted to fight, and Bryan wanted to wrestle. What made it brilliant was how diligently both men stuck to that philosophy. Every little touch built from that base, be it Eddie offering up his already hurt left leg for Bryan to kick in the hope it would draw him into striking range or Dragon retreating towards the ring post as Kingston chopped him, setting Eddie up to crack his hand against it and open up a body part to attack (an infinitely better way to build to that spot than the chopper stupidly lining themselves up to do so).
The secret is that if you get those details right, the rest tends to fall into place. Kingston’s general demeanour might be gruff and aggressive, but as Danielson wrenched on his hand, bending it back and torturing it, he became the most sympathetic man in the room. Likewise, watching Dragon, one of the all-time greats, shy away from getting into a striking match with Eddie made it clear that this guy can throw fists with the best of them. So even when he was forced to use his weaker hand, unleashing those final blows with the one that hadn’t been worked over throughout the match, it still felt significant that he was getting hits away. They’d done the work to give that payoff the context it needed.
And all that is what you’d pick up on if you’re one of those mythical casual fans who had stumbled in and watched this blind. It was the text, while the subtext of this feud has been Danielson getting into Eddie’s head, winding him up and forcing him to lose his cool. This time, though, even as he had one of his hands taken out of the action, Kingston held his nerve, stuck to the plan and never deviated from what he does best. He’s learnt how to focus that aggression, and when he unleashed it all on Danielson, he finally earned the respect of one of the best to ever do it.
On a card where Ospreay and Takeshita indulged each other’s worst habits (at least that’s what the videos on Twitter suggest, I ain’t watching that shit), it was good to have two people who know what they’re doing in the building.
Sting & Darby Allin vs The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson), Revolution (3/3/24), AEW
One of the best bows out on an unbelievable high. I don’t think I’m being hyperbolic when I say this might now be the gold standard of American retirement matches. I probably wouldn’t even argue too hard with someone who called it one of the greatest retirement matches ever (I’m partial to a gauntlet myself). All of which is ten times more impressive when you remember The Young Bucks were involved.
I joke because, to give them credit, The Bucks were what this match needed. It’s good to see them returning to their natural position as wee shitheads, and they were humble enough to get out of the way and let this be all about Sting. Their role was to be dicks, wind up the crowd and ultimately take their beatings. The only way they could have improved on it was to run the blade and get themselves all nice and bloody, but I guess we can’t have it all. Similarly, Darby Allin did everything that was asked of him here, playing the role of Sting’s wee mascot who does stupid shit for our entertainment. Considering some of the stories about his personal life, watching him crash and burn through a pane of glass was particularly enjoyable. Hey, if I’m going to watch a cunt, I might as well see them hurt themselves.
Right, that’s out the way, onto Sting. He fucking ruled here. I’m not a WCW guy (by which I mean I haven’t watched enough of it to be so), and honestly, my knowledge of Sting’s career doesn’t extend much past the hits, but what a joy he was on his final showing. Seeing him enter, flanked by his large adult sons, one can only imagine the pride he must have been feeling, and he went on to put everything he could into this match. Was it perfect? No. I never want to see Ric Flair again, as he left even more of a sour taste than Allin, but the vibes were strong enough to wipe that away. We should never ignore that stuff, and calling it out is always important, but the narrative thrust of this was about Sting and watching him stand in that spotlight one last time was thrilling. He may wrestle in a t-shirt now, but he still felt larger than life as he rose again and again, fighting back against the Bucks and refusing to end his career on a loss.
And I can’t think of a better way to say goodbye. Sting went out on top of the world, surrounded by his kids and proving to everyone (again) that he could still do this. So many wrestlers go on too long, and while I get it (and even respect the attitude of the likes of Aja Kong), there is dignity in choosing to step away because it’s your choice, not that of your doctor or your knees. I do not doubt that whatever Sting might say, he could have gone on a bit longer, but it was time, and if you can bow out with a match like this, then you probably should. Cheerio, Stinger. I can’t pretend you were my hero, but watching this, I wished you were.
The bulk of this thirty-minute draw was decent without being mind-blowing. ChiChi put in a good underdog performance, Gibbs continues to have an intriguing erraticism, and everything was ticking along fairly nicely. Then, Mio slapped Takumi across the face. With one bratty moment of defiance, Momono flicked the switch, and the final act was handed to the jewels in Marvelous’s crown. As you’d imagine, that was the moment this morphed from decent to great, as two of the best around got nasty, laying into each other and pushing everyone else to keep up.
And that Mio vs Takumi should be good hardly counts as a surprise. Marvelous has held off on giving us too much of that pairing over the years, but whenever they do get together, bombs start flying, as they can’t help but get competitive. They’re also two wrestlers who are intensely proud of Marvelous and their role as students of Chigusa Nagoya, so on a show that was plagued by injuries and mistakes (they initially forgot to book Itsuki Aoki), there was a sense that they were determined to make sure the fans left having seen something special. I perhaps wouldn’t go quite that far with my evaluation of it – it was a small chunk of a larger tag rather than a full-blown showdown – but if I’d been in that room, I would have left gone home satisfied, so they succeeded in their mission.
I can’t believe I’ve written about the Young Bucks twice this month. I don’t recognise myself.
If it makes it any better, they did fuck all in this match. The whole thing barely crept over two minutes, with the Bucks spending it all standing on the apron, watching as Okada dismantled some jobbers. New Japan’s former Ace was a total prick, openly inviting them to get their shots in before dispatching them with ease. Okada has always been at his best when he’s being a brat, as there is something wholly unlikeable about the Rainmaker (in-ring, outside of it, he seems a goofy delight), so it was a joy to see him let loose to lean into that, regardless of who was standing on the apron cheering him on.
It also made me realise that Okada going to AEW might be the thing that makes me care about him again. Over the last few years, he’s become a symbol of what I dislike about current-day New Japan. He’s someone who has been allowed to indulge the worst aspects of their talent, crafting bloated, dull and often nonsensical matches that don’t deserve half the credit they’ve received. However, I don’t think Okada is a bad wrestler. He might not be as good as people say he is, but he is the guy who was one-half of the legendary series with Tanahashi, had perhaps the best match I’ve ever seen live with Naito and even took part in that Omega feud. On his day, with the right opponent, Okada is sublime. It’s just that in recent years, those days and those opponents have been somewhat lacking.
And sure, I can already see the fawning reviews when he and Ospreay have a wankfest that I will never watch, but I have learnt to ignore that stuff. What I want is to see Okada in scenarios like this. To see how he reacts when he’s restrained by TV time and forced to work to a formula that is incredibly different to the one he’s spent his career perfecting. I want to see a twelve-minute Okada TV match with Eddie Kingston or Roddy Strong. I want to see what he can do when he’s not got all the time in the world. It might not turn him into my favourite wrestler, but it might make him worth caring about again.
Chihiro Hashimoto & Sareee vs Saori Anou & Natsupoi, Cinderella Tournament (9/3/24), Stardom
Watching Natuspoi get beat up is one of life’s pleasures. Whenever I write that, I worry that I give off the idea that I hate her, which I really don’t. There was a period when she was one of my favourite wrestlers. However, you’ve got to admit she can be a tad grating. Between her tendency to burn bridges and the fact that she is so incredibly stupid (although that’s actually one of my favourite things about her), she sometimes makes you want to bash your head against a wall.
In matches like this, those annoying tendencies become an asset. When you put someone in the ring with Big Hash and Sareee, you either need to root for them as they battle from underneath or relish them taking a beating, and Poi sits in the latter camp. Sareee and her are famously old friends, but even then, she still opened this match with fear in her eyes, aware that her return to the ring after injury was about to get painful. Not even the ever-reliable Saori Anou backing her up was enough to change her fate. It was a fight in which she was going to get hit hard and thrown about, two things that are never going to leave you feeling good about yourself.
To give Poi her credit, she excels at battling back against impossible odds. I guess being Miyu Yamashita’s kicking bag helps you get good at that stuff, and when she rallied, scrambling for a way to get past these two huge walls, it was hard not to get wrapped up in supporting her. She’s got a wonderfully expressive face, and while it’s often got a look of bafflement plastered across it, she still had me secretly cheering her on, hoping she could find a way to even the odds, even if just for a second. She couldn’t, but hey, at least she tried. Welcome back, Poi. I honestly don’t hate you.
You’ll never hear me complain about having fans in wrestling venues again, but one of the few downsides of letting people back into Ichigaya Chocolate Square is that it limits what they can do with that space. When you think back to the height of ChocoPro’s lockdown content, a lot of it was built around their use of that room. They became adept at using the camera and the unusual environment to their advantage, as they could hide things out of view or take us on an adventure. The pinnacle of this was Mei Suruga vs Ryo Mizunami in a falls count anywhere match, but it was a regular tactic throughout that time. Unfortunately, with fans in the venue, their ability to continue that tradition has been limited.
However, it’s not gone, as now and then, they capture a smidge of that magic. Take the opening of this match, in which chaos broke out, leading to most of the wrestlers vanishing out the front door. The only two left behind were Miya and Sayaka, who proceeded to shrug their shoulders and get on with it, moving into a decent but fairly standard start to proceedings. However, in this case, that was a deliberate thing. As they wrestled, you suddenly noticed that the alley in which fans typically stand had been populated by a wild brawl, bodies disappearing in and out of the window frame as everyone else battled it out. It was a rare example of depth being brought into a wrestling match, as the front and the back of the screen were packed with action, neither interacting with the other. With the elevated position of most rings, that same effect isn’t possible elsewhere, but in Ichigaya, it sold the chaos of the opening to this match.
And as I’ve said a thousand times, ChocoPro is at its best when it’s chaotic. Yes, they’re capable of having outstanding traditional matches, but this company has always thrived when it feels like it’s being held together by sticky tape and love. This match was an example of that, as there was a sense they were losing control of it, the action spilling out beyond the area that they, and the fans, could cover. Sure, it means we couldn’t see all of it, but long-term Gatoh Move fans know how to imagine the unseen, and is that not part of the joy? Plus, it had some great gong gags, and what else could you possibly need?
Asako Mia, Rensan & CatMASK Calico vs Mari & Act, Step 36 (11/3/24), AWG
Watching this match, I was reminded of a three vs one MMA bout I enjoyed with some friends recently. Said fight comprised three small lads taking on one big lad, and it quickly became clear that while the three might have had the numbers advantage, they had no way to take their rather more powerful opponent down. What they could do, however, was hang off him, each grabbing a separate limb and hoping that, when he inevitably got free, it was one of their pals that he decided to take his frustration out on.
Similarly, the nonsense squad never really stood a chance in this match. Not only were they facing two opponents, but, well, look at them. I love them dearly, and I know the not-quite-so-wee cat had a good moment last month, but they’re hardly intimidating. What they can be, however, is fucking annoying. Up against the unlikely pairing of Act and Mari, they were able to hang in there by virtue of the fact that knocking three people out at once is kinda hard. You think you’ve finally got two of them down, only for the third to pop up and make a nuisance of themselves. Sometimes, if you can’t win, the best you can hope for is pissing your opponent off, and these wonderful weirdos at least managed to fulfil that brief in a match that made me laugh a whole lot.
Fuminori Abe vs Katsuhiko Nakajima, Dream Power Series (12/3/24), AJPW
On paper, a seven-minute Abe vs Nakajima match should be perfect. They’re two violent buggers, and a time like that suggests they got down to business. In many ways, that was true. If you like stiff blows, you’ll get a lot from this, as they did little to hold back. However, rarely does a match manage to both draw me in and piss me off like this one did. While those moments where they laid into each other were great, there was also a lot of nonsense around the edges of it as they popped up from suplexes or no-sold fists to the jaw, taking away from the meatiness of the blows. It all felt a bit, dare I say it, NJPW, and I try to do my best to avoid that shite.
Still, even something flawed can tickle that itch, and when they kept this simple, I loved it. I’m sure some will bounce off Abe’s more unusual selling, but that doesn’t bother me one bit. He’s a weirdo, so he’s going to act like one, and I’m always happy to go with that. If they cut the other nonsense and let the impact of those big hits land a little bit harder, we could have had a proper barn burner on our hands. Instead, it will just have to go down as a good bit of fun.
Miya Yotsuba vs Mizuki, Road To Korakuen – Sakura Days (13/3/24), Gatoh Move
I love it when it feels like a wrestler has a plan. So much of modern wrestling, particularly the stuff that is bafflingly beloved by most fans, feels like two people lobbing bombs at each other with no tactics behind them. Don’t get me wrong, in the right place, at the right time, that stuff can be amazing, but you don’t have to be a sports fanatic to realise that it’s probably not the most intelligent way to approach a fight, especially when you’re coming up against someone more powerful than you. That’s when you need to sit down, study the tape, and devise a way to undercut them. Watching this match, Miya Yotsuba delivered a performance where it felt like she’d done exactly that.
And it wasn’t anything complicated. Early on, Miya seemed to know exactly what Mizuki would do, dodging around her initial offence and using the shock of that to attack the back. We’re not talking about some late-stage Champions League Pep Guardiola overthinking it here. It was a back-to-basics approach but one that made sense for the match. The one thing Miya had over Mizuki was her power. So when she got the opening, she began clubbing away, setting up the Miya Hammer, followed by a crab, in the hope of getting the win.
Except, in another moment that felt very reminiscent of real sports, it didn’t matter. Miya executed her gameplay perfectly and came agonisingly close to getting the win… but failed. Then, when she realised Yotsuba had run out of steam, Mizuki took control. To return to the Man City comparison, it was like watching them let another team run themselves into the ground as they pinged the ball around, wearing them down until someone found the right pass to send that big Norwegian hunk through to smash one home. It doesn’t matter how good you are because, at the end of the day, they’re still better than you.
However, watching Miya lose that way felt infinitely more satisfying than if she’d been overpowered in a bomb-throwing contest. She proved that even at this early stage of her career, she could find a way to cause Mizuki trouble, and that’s no small feat. Now, Yotsuba can go away and hone those tactics, improving on them and coming up with plans B through Z. Then, next time, she’ll be feasting on some succulent rabbit.
Rika Tatsumi vs Uta Takumi vs Mahiro Kiryu, Spring Live Tour (16/3/24), TJPW
If you can’t take some pleasure out of Rika Tatsumi recruiting tiny wee Uta to be her minion, then we will probably never be friends. The newest Up Up Girl has already proven herself to be all kinds of feisty, so putting her under the watchful eye of TJPW’s resident monster is a wonderful fit. Was there anything particularly complicated or different about this match? No, not really. It hit a lot of the beats that a thousand other TJPW three-ways have. However, watching Uta happily stomp away on Mahiro in the corner was enough for me, and with her having been teamed up with Rika since this happened, I’m hoping to see her become Tatsumi’s unofficial minion in training. Teach the child how to be cruel!
Yappy vs Ancham, Ice Ribbon #1337 (23/3/24), Ice Ribbon
There is a real art to a standout ten-minute undercard match. You know there are bigger, more epic things to come, and if you’re doing your job right, you don’t want to take away from them. Instead, whether it’s via comedy, high speed wrestling, or simply beating the snot out of each other, you’ve got to find a different way to stand out.
For Yappy and Ancham, they did it by making this match a little bit personal. Thanks to their friendship outside the ring, they placed a bet: the loser would cover the winner’s bar tab. It might not be the biggest thing in the world, but it’s a hook, a touch of stakes to something that otherwise would have felt throwaway and light. Sometimes, all you need to get invested is the knowledge that one of these two had the potential to be bankrupted if they couldn’t get out with the win.
Of course, investment only gets you so far, but these two followed it up with a damn good display of back-to-basics wrestling. Powerhouse Yappy against technical master Ancham was perfect second on the card stuff, as early on, Yappy shrugged off all of Ancham’s attacks. Whether it was stuffing her attempts at a takedown, catching her out of the air on a crossbody, or tying her up in the corner to slap her stomach, Yappy was having a wonderful time putting her friend through the wringer. Ancham, meanwhile, was fantastic at getting across her desperate search for the smallest opening, throwing out a few kicks before realising that her best route to success would be bundling Yappy up and stealing the win.
It’s the kind of wrestling I love. Yappy and Ancham delivered something logical and well-worked, complete with fun beats littered through it and the knowledge that the result mattered. I don’t need my matches to be built on huge ideas. If the people in the ring can convince me that they are desperate to win – be that to prove themselves the best or because they’d quite like to be able to afford food this month – that is more than enough.
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